How I screwed my recovery up, by getting into a love relationship when I had no business being in one.
Dig the long catchy subtitle, Yup it’s that time once again to talk about recovery.
So, you are shiny and brand new in your clean time, and you feel as though you need a LOVE relationship in your life? Snap Out Of It! Here is why I say this; Love, Lust and Friendship are all very different, and yet the first two can kill your recovery.
You have heard it said that “If you don’t Love/Like yourself, how can you Love/Like anyone else?” Yes this saying seems profound and lofty, but yet it does ring true. By treating yourself well, you give yourself confidence and strength.
The Friendship type of relationship
So, it has been said that “a friend is someone who will help you hide a dead body and not ask any questions”. Friendship really is something like this. You’ve heard it said that “as addict’s we used drugs and alcohol to fill the hole in our soul that a relationship should/ would fill”. If you take a close look at yourself, this saying just might apply to your life.
The Ugly Part of a Relation-Shit
In this strange culture today we are taught by the media that we should have sex with our friends and then fall in love with them, or is that Lust with them, and hold them captive like a jealous lover would.
In N.A. we have a saying for this, and it’s called Relationshits:
- You feel like shit
- You think like shit
- You talk like shit
- You treat each other like shit
If you’ve got a girl or a guy up in your business 24/7 then how are you going to get any of your step work done? your step work involves You not you and your mate. besides, the togetherness of two new recovering addicts, or anyone for that matter can begin to cause resentments, and that is the last thing you want in any relationship. Remember, this is your program of recovery (getting better) not staying the same.
Healthy Relationships in Recovery
When we are confident about who we are and where we stand in our relationship with ourselves we don’t need to be inside anyone to feel secure nor do we need them inside us to make us feel whole. We can go out to functions with friends after meetings and not have to feel as though we have to be taken home by our friend and become entangled in that dreaded Relationshit!